First off, thank you to everyone for the calls, texts, emails, voicemails and general love and prayers! Alex and I are truly blessed to have such fantastic friends and family. I wanted to write up a post with some ways to donate in case you all are looking to help out. A lot of you suffered through Sandy last year and know that every donation, no matter how small, makes a difference to those who have lost everything.

1. The easiest way to donate is to text text REDCROSS to 90999. That will add $10 to your cell phone bill and go directly to the Red Cross. The Red Cross is currently coordinating a substantial amount of the relief efforts in Moore. *If your parents still pay your cell phone bill you might try option 2 or 3 instead.
2. The Humane Society has taken on the bulk of the displaced animals from the storm. They are working hard to reunite dogs and cats with their families and for those of you with a pet, you’ll understand how devastating this is. You can donate here, http://www.okhumane.org/donate, to help them buy food, collars, leashes, crates, etc. for the animals while we look for their owners.
3. Our CrossFit gym is participating in a fundraiser for the Red Cross this Saturday. All proceeds go directly to the relief efforts (so just like option 1 but paying with a credit card instead). You can donate online through this link – http://www.gofundme.com/301e3w .

And if any of you are thinking, there is no way I am ever coming to visit now, just take a look at this post. http://www.buzzfeed.com/bennyjohnson/best-things-about-living-in-oklahoma

 

Whole Tornado Kits

It has recently come to my attention that the Whole Foods in OKC is offering tornado survival kits. In case you are needing sustainable, green, local, organic emergency rations, Whole Foods has you covered. But seriously, we have to be the only Whole Foods in the country that offers this right? I am legitimately impressed by their proven commitment to local communities. When I saw it I pictured a family huddled in their storm shelter wondering why they were snacking on organic kale chips and pomegranate raspberry sparkling water instead of Cheetos and coke like everyone else in Oklahoma.

One thing that concerns me is the fact that the “tornado tote” proposes to keep you and your family fed for three days. Not sure why Whole Foods is confusing tornados and a zombie apocalypse. If you end up in your shelter for three days you are doing something wrong (or you’re that woman that got stuck in her tornado shelter last year). Not even I’m that paranoid.

Either way, nice job Whole Foods. Now I feel like we can officially welcome you to Oklahoma.

Where’s the goat?

Alex and I went to see Jurassic Park 3D yesterday (which was amazing by the way) and while we were watching, I kept thinking about how much Jurassic Park is like Oklahoma.

– The illusion of safety until disaster strikes
– Waist-high Jeans and really big hair will never go out of style
– It’s best to get a car without a sunroof since it is the optimal entry point for T-Rex’s and/or baseball size hail
– A healthy respect for the power of nature is never unwarranted

But seriously, here is the forecast for tomorrow.

“A few tornadoes”. Like a few is no big deal. That’s like telling Lex and Tim that a “few Velociraptors” in the kitchen is no big deal.

So anyways, if you’re looking for me tomorrow, you’ll find me hiding in the basement as per usual. The rest of you should be doing the same. And as Samuel says:

Hold onto your butts, spring is just getting started.

Dear Oklahoma,

You and I had a pretty rough night last night. I’m not going to blame you for your excessive use of hail, I know you were just mad that the Thunder were losing. I understand, we all were. I just wish you had waited five more minutes so I could have gotten home safely, put my car in the garage, and snuggled up on the couch with a book while you had your temper tantrum.  Denting my car with golf ball size hail, flooding my amazingly awesome garden and causing me to have a panic attack was just not what I would expect from you. After all that we’ve been through and all the love I have shown you, I thought our relationship was stronger than this. I thought we had an understanding. You watch my back and keep it from getting hailed on and I watch your back and keep Charles Barkley from saying mean things about you.

I guess I should be thankful that I was able to pull over and run from my car into the nearest building without getting knocked out by a piece of ice the size of a baseball. I guess I should be thankful that the building I ran into was at the time hosting an AA meeting complete with friendly people and hot coffee. I guess I should be thankful that I got to watch as hail destroyed my car from inside a brick building instead of inside the car. I guess I should be able to see the irony of getting hailed on while I was driving home to park my car in the garage to avoid the hail.

Hopefully in a couple weeks, you and I, we can laugh about this. I’ll punch you in the shoulder and say ,”Remember that time you nailed me with some hail and I ended up at an AA meeting? Yeah, that was pretty funny!”. And you’ll say, “Hail yeah I remember! If only the Thunder had played a little better, you might still have a car.” And I’ll say, “Yeah but who needs a car when I have a friend like you?” And then we’ll laugh and go grab some beers and some sweet potato fries covered in peanut butter from S&B and call it a day.

I’m not saying I don’t love you anymore, it’s just going to take some time for me to forgive you.

Love,

Becky

Turn your lights on

Last night, the storms were so bad that our house actually shook every time there was a thunder clap. Millie, who is deathly afraid of thunder storms, spent the entire night hiding under various things including the bed, living room armchair, bedroom chair and when forced to go outside, the bush at the back of our yard. This is very similar to what I do during tornado watches so I can’t judge.

This is her hiding under the bed a few months ago. She actually has to army crawl to get under there.

Is it safe to come out yet?

This morning, when I awoke to a particularly loud thunder clap, I realized that sadly, I would be driving to work in the rain. Under normal circumstances, driving to work in a thunder storm wouldn’t be that big of a deal. Unfortunately, this isn’t a “normal circumstance”, this is Oklahoma. One public safety law that Oklahoma has yet to adopt is requiring drivers to turn their lights on in the rain. Since Oklahoma thunder storms typically look like the sky sucked up ten thousand gallons of children’s tears and then decided to try and electrocute you with them, driving without your lights on is kind of like telling all the other drivers on the road that you don’t really care to be seen.

Driving to work this morning was something like this:

I KNOW, SO CRAZY RIGHT??

I would guess that about 50% of the cars on the highway had their lights on. 50%! You probably have better odds playing the slot machines at Riverwind.

When it is cloudy, dark and rainy this is what cars without their lights on look like.

DO YOU SEE A CAR THERE? DO YOU?

As you can see from the image above, it is really difficult to see cars without their lights on in heavy rain on the highway.

So Oklahoma drivers, if it’s raining, PLEASE turn your lights on, that way I’ll make sure not to rear end you while you are driving 50mph in the left lane. K, thanks.

Oklahoma just bein a badass

New pedestrian bridge on I-40 which was designed by an OU professor!

Guess what the bridge is named?? I’ll give you a hint, it’s a bird we are all very familiar with…

Happy Sunday.

Disaster Preparedness

I started to make this list on a post-it but then decided this was way too important to keep to myself. For those of you Oklahomans preparing for the worst tonight, here’s a quick list to get you started.

• One bottle of wine or 6 pack of beer PER PERSON – How else are you going to play the Gary England drinking game? *Note that Oklahoma has the WORST alcohol laws so you are going to want to purchase these well in advance of the storm.
• Pink sparkly tornado helmet (considering a future DIY post on this – thanks Caitlin).
• Big yellow Hunter boots- Perfect for walking through glass, debris, splintered wood and children’s memories.
• Lara bars (thanks for this one Andreana)- make sure you stay paleo while fearing for your life.
• Puppy treats- to keep Millie appeased so she doesn’t try to eat us when we get trapped for days in our tornado shelter.
• And the staples – Flashlights, bottles of water, blankets & pillows, playing cards, a shoulder to cry on and a first aid kit

Also, try to remember this when you’re crying in your basement, despite popular belief there’s no such thing as a tornado, Chuck Norris just really doesn’t like trailer parks.

3 Day Severe Storm Outlook

In Oklahoma, even our weather is extreme.

The red part is almost always on Oklahoma.

So despite the fact that I have frequent nightmares about tornadoes and cry every single time the tornado siren goes off during severe storms (and even sometimes on Saturdays at noon when they test the sirens because deep down a small part of me thinks that maybe, just possibly, this might be the ONE time that a tornado happens at the same time as the weekly test and if that ever happens everyone would think it was a test and wouldn’t react so it’s up to me to check the weather radar at noon every Saturday to make sure I’m there to alert everyone that NO, THIS IS NOT A TEST, so get your mattress and your football helmet and let’s go get in the bathtub). That aside ended up being so long that I had to start a new sentence. Where was I? In conclusion, tornadoes are scary but EXTREME and in Oklahoma we like EXTREME – extreme heat, extreme storms, extreme state fair food, extreme employment, extremely slow drivers, you get the picture. Plus severe weather makes the sky look pretty cool. Here are some pictures from last spring.

That's a cloud, not a mountain

Not the apocalypse, just a normal day in OKC.

The light was totally red when I pulled my phone out to take this picture.

But in all seriousness people, when Peter Laws sends me an email, I listen, and Peter is telling me that there is going to be severe weather on Saturday so take the proper precautions and be careful! Extreme weather is only funny when you’re laying in your bathtub with your bike helmet on or when you’re this guy.

Don't try this at home.